Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
