Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
