I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
