I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
