she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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