the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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