You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
