shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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