Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
