Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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