Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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