i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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