I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
