Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
its liver damage thursday
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
