All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
