so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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