Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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