she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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