That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
