Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize