Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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