AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
