Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
