He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
