im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
