): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just had sex on a roof
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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