My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize