That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Your cock deserves a montage
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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