I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
