I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Randomize
