they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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