I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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