Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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