so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize