Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
