He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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