check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
