You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
