Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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