My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize