I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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