You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
