i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The beer is more important than you right now.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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