I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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