I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I want to fling myself into the sun
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
