Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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