just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
