are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
