I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
