i already hear my dad disowning me
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
