he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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