i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
