That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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