I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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