yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
