I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
