What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
