ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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