Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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